Increase Your Self Esteem -And Improve Your Life
Having a good opinion of
oneself is often associated with vanity or arrogance. Having
high self-esteem, however, is to be in a healthy psychological
state. Those who are in a healthy psychological state are more
likely to achieve their life goals. People with high self-esteem
are often calm, positive, purposeful, expressive and assertive.
They are completely comfortable in their well nourished and
exercised bodies. They do not seek approval from others, they
are confident in their own actions.
Conversely, people with low self-esteem experience fear; they
can feel negative, passive, tense, de-motivated, and generally
unhappy with life, with no desire to change – “what’s the
point?”. Whenever self-esteem is low, success and happiness is
affected. The world can appear to be a very grey place.
Self-esteem and health are inextricably linked. By keeping
healthy, you will feel motivated to identify and achieve your
life goals, which leads to higher self-esteem. In turn, having
high self-esteem means that you value yourself enough to want to
look after your health!
If you find that your self-esteem is low, find below 5 top tips
to help you move forward.
Step 1 - EXORCISE THE EXERCISE EXCUSES!
So you hate the idea of
going to the gym? Why not try a new or invigorating hobby, such
as canoeing, skydiving or rollerblading. Go for a long walk,
rather than a run. Take up gardening. Try a different approach
to the gym - go at a different time, try a new class or routine,
find a partner to go with. By associating exercise with
something you enjoy, rather than perceiving it as a chore, you
will increase your motivation levels. Plan a reward for yourself
after each activity. After each session, endorphins will be
making you feel good, so give a word to this feeling, and say
this word to yourself whenever you feel like you can’t be
bothered. You will soon discover a new vitality.
Step 2 - BE YOUR OWN CRITIC
If you are your own
critic, you can measure how accurate other people’s criticisms
are of you! Make time for self-reflection and self-appraisal
every day. Some questions to ask may include:
What have I achieved
What have I enjoyed?
How have I taken
care of myself?
What could I do
differently/in a better way?
What goals can I set
for tomorrow/next week etc
Step 3 - SHOOT YOUR LIFE MOVIE
Review your life so far,
and view it as if you were watching a real life movie. What type
of movie would it be – comedy?, action-packed?, tragedy? What
are your successes so far?
Now ask yourself what type of movie you would like it to be?
What would be your achievements? Give your movie a title, and
identify which actor/actress will play the leading role. What
are their qualities? What can you do to make this movie your
real life story?
Remember the title. Keep a picture of the leading actor close to
hand. Use these as affirmations and reminders of what you want
to achieve whenever you are feeling down or de-motivated.
Step 4 - LISTEN TO YOURSELF
Sometimes we experience
very sad periods in our life. If you are experiencing genuine
sadness, to allow these feelings to build up can be damaging,
and may lead to depression. Give yourself permission to feel
sad. Shut out the world for a while, and set aside private time
to heal. Give yourself some comfort - a soak in the bath,
special music, nice food, etc and explore how you are feeling.
Don’t be afraid of tears. If these feelings of sadness persist,
consult your GP, who may be able to recommend a counsellor, who
will be able to support you.
Step 5 - PUT YOURSELF FIRST
Putting yourself first
sounds selfish, doesn’t it? But consider how much time you spend
helping others, whilst not taking care of yourself first. Check
how much you are giving to others. People with low self-esteem
often give too much of themselves to others, which can leave
them feeling resentful and unworthy. Tell yourself that you are
worthy of your own time and energy.
Nicola Forshaw is a professional life coach with an advanced
diploma. She is dedicated to supporting life/work aspirations,
and is an experienced relationship coach. Nicola offers a FREE
initial consultation. Contact her at
firstname.lastname@example.org or you can visit her website at